We’ve all heard about the big girl gets fit stories, which without a doubt are inspiring. Although I’m afraid my story is different. I’m the “skinny, insecure, depressed girl turns fit, happy & confident”.I was one of those people that used to avoid exercise, just would sit on a rowing machine and then each time I moved forward would take a bite of my snickers bar. But nearly 4 years ago, I met my partner Elliott who was a fitness fanatic. Doing triathlons, cycling Mont Ventoux, having his own weights and healthy habits, it meant I had to adapt slightly. *GULP*
I started getting into running and found that it really helped to clear my mind, but also as I was getting older, it started to get rid of the old muffin top. I would still find any excuse not to go though; I don’t want to eat late, I don’t have time, I need to clean the house…the list was endless.
Fast forward to now and starting The Health Nut, I am back on the regular running train and feeling as good as ever.
The person I used to be…
All through my childhood, up until going to uni I was totally confident in myself. It wasn’t until people mocked my ‘posh accent’ that I started to become aware of other things that bothered me, about me. I always wanted everyone to like me. By my mid 20’s I became quite insecure with who I was, I was putting on weight (all those times people said it would catch up with me…it did) and I was actually becoming a bit self obsessed and not a nice person to be around. It was all because I had no self belief & was showing the beginnings of depression. I started questioning everything, from my ability to present my work, all the way through to even having a relationship and being good enough for someone else. I was a pessimist, always negative & always put myself down.
I didn’t know who I was & I definitely wasn’t comfortable or happy with the person I had become. I could imagine how hard it must have been for others to be around such a negative person.I was always worried about what others thought about me & constantly did things to make them happy even if it meant putting my own happiness aside!
When my partner Elliott & I were a year into our relationship, he woke me up to a lot things! I started implementing changes in my life. If I didn’t like something I’d change it, if I couldn’t change it I accepted it & stopped wasting time worrying about it. I learnt to make the most of the life I have & appreciate the things I do have, rather than focusing on what I don’t! It didn’t happen over night though, it still took me another year to properly feel in control of this and even a couple of counselling sessions.I used to be in search of perfection but of course it doesn’t exist, so it was a vicious cycle of disappointment – it’s not about being perfect, it’s about being the best you can be!
In order to overcome the way I used to be I had to be honest with myself and take responsibility for what I was doing to myself. I was sabotaging myself & any chance I had of being happy.
I had to make a lot of changes which took time and a lot of effort. Every day I would work hard to not go back to the person I used to be. If I started thinking negatively I’d stop myself quick smart. Every time I doubted myself I’d tell myself I am good enough & I am more than capable – I still do this now! I replaced negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Some days I’m great & other days I find myself drifting back to how I used to be, but I keep at it to ensure I don’t get caught in that dark trap again. I’m continually changing the way I think about myself and life to be more positive. Over time it’s become easier & it now happens more easily! I thank my lucky stars for the friends and family around me who have been incredibly supportive through what has been a bit of a tough time.
I now realise I’m human and nothing is going to be easy and nothing will ever go perfectly. Nobody has the perfect life, no matter what social media says!
My lifestyle is about my mind, I do things everyday which improve the way I am feeling. So sometimes this could be focused on my body & being fit, but others it could just be ensuring I see friends and family to remind myself that I am lucky to have amazing people around me. I feel set free from the person I was previously. I am no longer preventing myself from living the best life possible and I want to help others do the same.Thank you’s…
Thank you to everyone reading this and supporting me. I promise to keep inspiring you all everyday.To my amazing friends & family! Thank you for always being there for me & loving me no matter what! I love you!
My biggest thank you goes to my gorgeous partner in crime and best friend Elliott, I know without you I totally wouldn’t be where I am today and I definitely wouldn’t have had the confidence to start The Health Nut. Thank you for believing in me even before I even believed in myself! You gave me the wake up call I needed, pushed me in the right direction & continued to love me through everything. I love you more & more every day!